Rambles in Shambles


New Year, New Me.  Uh no, not quite actually.  I'm going to be the same person I was last year and the year before that.  I'll still eat cheese and all of those good fattening dairy products that my stomach can't handle.  I won't stop at one waffle or three pieces of bacon. I guess I like to put my body through mini challenges.  What I will do however, is take the time to connect.  Connect and reconnect with people, myself, my dreams and desires. I wanted to start by having a new site.  Something that is more representative of me, and the direction I'm headed. If you are new to what is this alter-ego I call Queen Elizabeth, welcome and get ready for some weird shit.

I'll start by stating the obvious. I'm not who you think I am, nor will I become who you think I should be.  I will not be labeled by anyone or categorized into anything other than human. Here's the deal.  I made a conscious decision about three years ago when my shoulder decided to disconnect itself from my body, that I was done.  Not done with music per se, but done nonetheless.  Sometime between 2007-2009 I started to become a sponge again and stopped listening to myself.  Although I may not always have the right answers, I do know what's best for me.  This became painfully clear the day my father passed.  There are days where I can't get out of bed.  I stare at ceiling for hours at a time.  I go through pictures.  I envision every possible outcome and try to explain it, but I can't.  I'm not as strong as I thought I was; yet, I'm not a weakling either.  I'm definitely more resilient than I give myself credit for.  I just had to remind myself that by listening to my entire catalog and realizing I still have another spin at the wheel.

I decided on this change effective immediately throughout the course of the last three years or so. I've been quiet, but my voice is louder than ever.  I have been in the shadows, but still very present often analyzing and deconstructing all matters pertaining to life and what it is to live.  I have yet to clear a quote by the Roman statesman Seneca the Younger from my chalkboard.  Perhaps it is to remind me, no matter how painful it is to face reality that if I'm not setting goals, or doing what I can to fulfill my needs, I should just be dead.  Okay, okay it isn't that gruesome.  Here's the quote in French because in French shit sounds cool:

<<Une vie malheureuse est plus insupportable que la mort.>>

I've done a lot of soul searching in a past few years and now that one of my parents has gone to the next stage of life, it only makes me want to break free from the chains that society has placed on me through incessant bullshit.  I do so daily in small dosages through deep thought and music creation.  It is a continuous process of filtering out what doesn't fit my lifestyle as it is easy to be influenced by whatever buzz word is the soup du jour. For reasons that many will not understand, I have chosen to remove myself from the rat race and start my own race to go at my own pace, setting my own rules (which I will break no doubt), living in tune with the universe at peace and at ease.

Now pass me some cheese.

"Mens regnum bona possidet." - Seneca